Follow the Leader – Genesis 31

Gen. 31 9/15/19
Would you now turn in your Bible to Genesis 31?
Do you remember playing the game “Follow the leader?” It was one of my favorites. Everyone gets in a line and one person is chosen to be the leader. Whatever he does everyone is supposed to follow.
It typically goes well until someone is too timid to lead or some smarty pants does something ridiculous like running with his eyes closed or climbing up a tree that’s too hard for the rest.
Yet there’s another “follow the Leader” that’s not a game for the Christian. It’s to be our ever-growing commitment in following the guidance of our great God.
So vividly in our chapter, God displays something wonderful: He loves to guide and change lives! And the specimen before us is the man Jacob.
It becomes clearer than ever that Jacob is a work in progress. For God orchestrates every step of his life to grow him into a godlier man.
And friends, that’s what theologians call progressive sanctification. It’s God relentless commitment to making us more like Him.
The Apostle Paul tells the Corinthian church of that wonderful process: “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit. II Cor. 3:18
And he reminds the church in Philippi: “…it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” Phil. 2:13
In this narrative before us, God works in Jacob’s life in 4 ways: through change, chase, conflict and covenant.
All of these show us God’s hand shaping Jacob more into what He wants him to be.
Remember, Jacob at this point is living in the town of Haran which is in distant Mesopotamia.
That was his place of escape to hide from his revengeful brother Esau. And second, that’s where he had high hopes of finding a wife.
Through his Uncle Laban’s trickery, Jacob ends up marrying Rachel whom he loved AND her older sister Leah.
Tons of tension in that home came from two sisters vying for the attention of their husband and competing for the “who can have the most children” award. Together they and their maids have 11 sons and one daughter.
Now let’s pick up the saga in verse 1 and see how God brings 1. Change into Jacob’s life 1-16
Now Jacob heard the words of Laban’s sons, saying, “Jacob has taken away all that was our father’s, and from what belonged to our father he has made all this wealth.”
There’s another crisis brewing in Jacob’s life. It’s not his brother this time but his brothers-in-law. They are accusing Jacob of ripping off their father.
Laban has raised his boys to see things from a selfish, what’s in it for me focus. They believe their dad’s line, that Jacob has taken advantage of him and stolen from him.
Now why is this such a big deal to these sons? Here’s why: the way they see it, “There goes our inheritance.” That dirty Jacob took from our dad what should have come our way.”
That’s only half of Jacob’s problem. For the second verse tells us more: Jacob saw the attitude of Laban, and behold, it was not friendly toward him as formerly.
Just by looking at Laban’s face, Jacob can tell things have changed for the worse.
Laban his father-in-law may have previously acted as if he was friendly to Jacob event though that was a sham.
Now, Laban can’t stand Jacob. And try as he might, he can’t cover that up with a smile.
Clearly tensions are mounting in Jacob’s strained relationship with Laban and his sons.
So much pressure on Jacob now. What should he do?
It was at this time he desperately needed to hear from the Lord.
And that’s exactly what God graciously does. He speaks to Jacob personally: v. 3
Then the LORD said to Jacob, “Return to the land of your fathers and to your relatives, and I will be with you.”
Jacob had wanted to leave 6 years before and head back to the Promised Land. Yet he agreed to an awful deal to work for Laban.
Well, now God makes it all so clear, “Don’t stay here any longer. It’s time to return home.”
But don’t miss it- God’s command came with God’s comfort: “I will be with you” he says.
That reassures Jacob of God’s protective presence with him. That’s exactly what Jacob desperately needs to hear and count on: “I will be with you.”
Don’t forget that’s what God told him at Bethel when he set out for Haran 20 years ago: “I am with you, and will keep you wherever you go.” That included a round trip to Haran, there and back.
For God had also assured Jacob in that dream: “I will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” Gen. 28:15
So now, God graciously refreshes Jacob’s memory that He would accompany him on this return trip no matter how difficult it be.
This promise of God wonderfully foreshadows God calling His people to depart Egypt.
After God told Moses he would lead the children of Israel out of Egypt, Moses, overwhelmed by that thought says, “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring the sons of Israel out of Egypt?” Ex. 3:11-12
And God’s tells Moses, “Certainly I will be with you…..” In other words, “Count on it, you don’t go alone since I go with you!”
With that confidence, of God’s 24-7 presence David asks, “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? 8 If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there. 9 If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, 10 Even there Your hand will lead me, and Your right hand will lay hold of me.” Psalm 139:7–10
So amazing. Christian, no one can take you from God’s presence. Satan can’t, unbelievers, can’t, no, and even you can’t!
Yes, nothing you could ever do including sin can ever take you from God’s indwelling presence.
For when God invades a life, He comes in to stay.
Don’t forget that, child of God. And live with full confidence that no matter how hard the storms of life that hit you, the all-powerful and all-loving God of the universe is with you. You are never alone. Never!
That’s His promise to you and all who know Him as their heavenly Father: “I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU.” Heb. 13:5
Well, Jacob has clear directions from God. It’s high time to head back to the Promised Land from which he has come.
But he knows that doesn’t mean going alone. He must take his 11 children and wives with him.
Jacob is wise not to assume they will be gung-ho to leave their home and relatives in Haran.
For what if they would side with their manipulative father Laban? What if they would say, “Sorry Jacob, you’ve put us through enough. We have all these children and livestock and are more comfortable as this as our home.”
Jacob avoids the pitfall of trying to pressure his wives into leaving. He doesn’t tell them, “Listen, there’s no time to talk about this. I can fill you in later, just trust me and do what I tell you.”
Not at all. As a wise husband, Jacob now makes communication a priority in his marriage. Watch how he shows leadership and graciously gives direction.
4 So Jacob sent and called Rachel and Leah to his flock in the field.
No, this wasn’t a creative date! It was to communicate with no one listening in. He doesn’t want anything he says to get back to Laban.
In verse 5, Jacob tells them: “I see your father’s attitude, that it is not friendly toward me as formerly, but the God of my father has been with me.”
Jacob has two fathers in mind that are worlds apart.
Their father Laban who stands against Jacob. And the God of his father Isaac who stands with him.
By the way, in using that phrase “God of my father” Jacob’s shows a heart of reverence and a realization of unworthiness before the Lord.
What a testimony! Your dad has it in for me, but God has been with me at every step. Tremendous!
Jacob’s confidence was anchored in God as was the Apostle Paul who declares, “If God is for us, who is against us?” Romans 8:31
Family of God, the next time you feel all alone against those who are opposed to you and God, replay in your mind that precious truth: “If God is for us, who is against us?”
So what Joshua is telling his wives is far more than self-defense.
For he knows if his wives are to follow him for the right reason they have to be clear on one thing: God has and will continue to lead him!
Now watch Jacob’s winsome words to his wives Rachel and Leah. He bears in mind that no matter how bad Laban is, he’s still their father.
6 “You know that I have served your father with all my strength.
Laban cheated Jacob out of many years of his life. Nonetheless, Jacob worked hard for him day after day. He refused to just go through the motions and put in time.
Laban served with ALL his strength.
What a reminder this gives us as N.T. believers. For our Lord tells us part of the #1 greatest commandment is that we must love God with all our strength (Luke 10:27). And that includes how we go about our work.
Christian worker, if someone was to ask your boss, “Tell me, who is the hardest and most diligent worker here? The first person he should think of is you! For that hard work testifies of the power of God at work in our lives!
There in the field, Jacob fills in more of the gaps in his wives’ thinking: V. 7 “Yet your father has cheated me and changed my wages ten times; however, God did not allow him to hurt me.
“Cheated me”- the original words carry the idea of making a fool of someone. Laban unfairly reduced Jacob’s wages by changing the terms of work time after time.
Sure, Laban had taken advantage of him. Yet Jacob isn’t licking his wounds and looking for pity.
For He lives in the certainty that God had protected him: “God did not allow him to hurt me” he says.
Instead watch how Jacob now vouches for God’s supernatural hand of blessing in spite of Laban’s cheating: V. 8 “If he spoke thus, ‘The speckled shall be your wages,’ then all the flock brought forth speckled; and if he spoke thus, ‘The striped shall be your wages,’ then all the flock brought forth striped.
Amazing. Every time Laban would change the deal hoping to get more sheep and goats, God caused the gains to go to Jacob!
And Jacob gives the honor to whom the honor is due: God! 9th verse: “Thus God has taken away your father’s livestock and given them to me.
Well, Jacob wants his wives to know he wasn’t just making this all up. So, he tells them a true story they may have never heard showing what God had done:
10 “And it came about at the time when the flock were mating that I lifted up my eyes and saw in a dream, and behold, the male goats which were mating were striped, speckled, and mottled. 11 “Then the angel of God said to me in the dream, ‘Jacob,’ and I said, ‘Here I am.’ 12 “He said, ‘Lift up now your eyes and see that all the male goats which are mating are striped, speckled, and mottled; for I have seen all that Laban has been doing to you.”
Wisely, Jacob saves the best for last. It’s what God told him in that dream (v. 13): ‘I am the God of Bethel, where you anointed a pillar, where you made a vow to Me; now arise, leave this land, and return to the land of your birth.’ ”
Wow! He’s telling them, “On my journey here two decades ago, God met me and changed my life. And now God has reminded me I must keep my promise and return to the Promised Land.
Friends, this is a new Jacob. He’s God-centered in His thinking. And that’s why his words to his wives are so powerful- they are saturated with the sovereignty of God!
Now take in how his wives respond to him: V. 14-Rachel and Leah said to him, “Do we still have any portion or inheritance in our father’s house?
They know the answer is “No.” We have nothing coming our way from our father. He’s already used if for himself.
15 “Are we not reckoned by him as foreigners? For he has sold us, and has also entirely consumed our purchase price.
Rachel and Leach realize their dad has treated them like dirt.
Instead of returning some of the dowry from Jacob working 14 years for him, Laban kept it for himself.
Imagine the sting of pain they felt knowing their dad personally profited from selling them to Jacob.
But far more important than all that, now they see God had prospered Jacob.
16 “Surely all the wealth which God has taken away from our father belongs to us and our children.”
O those words would have made Jacob’s heart leap for joy- his wives recognize the powerful hand of God in all of it.
Friends, this must be a dominating desire in our lives. And this should be our deep desire for our spouses, children, and fellow believers at Hope.
To live with the profound awareness of God blessing our lives with Himself.
It’s to marvel in the fact that in Christ we have been made complete. We lack nothing. Instead we have “the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe.” Eph. 2:19
Well, from Jacob’s example here we learn this: when husbands and wives are rightly related to God they will be rightly related to one another.
Jacob shows biblical leadership. And his wives show biblical submission:
In response to what he’s told them they say, “now then, do whatever God has said to you.”
Jacob’s jaw may have dropped in amazement.
For this may have been the first time in a very long time that Rachel and Leah have agreed on anything.
And this is the first time we see Jacob’s wives follow his lead. They support his following God. The old 1871 commentary by Jamieson-Fausset-Brown notes the following: “Those that are really their husbands’ helpmeets will never be their hindrances in doing that to which God calls them.”
And to that I would add: “And those that are really their wife’s loving husbands will never hinder them in submitting with joy.”
In other words, submissive wives don’t make it difficult for their husbands to follow God.
And loving husbands don’t make it difficult for their wives to joyfully submit.
Well, we come now to the scene of the 2. Chase 17-25
With no time to waste, Jacob gathers his family and possessions and heads out.
17 Then Jacob arose and put his children and his wives upon camels; 18 and he drove away all his livestock and all his property which he had gathered, his acquired livestock which he had gathered in Paddan-aram, to go to the land of Canaan to his father Isaac.
Jacob would have led the animals out front with his wives and children following behind atop their camels. And he well suspects, as soon as Laban catches word of them being gone, he will try to chase them down.
It’s at this point we are given a flash back (that’s an anachrony) of something key that took place before they left.
V. 19: When Laban had gone to shear his flock, then Rachel stole the household idols that were her father’s.
Shepherds sheered their sheep in the Spring.
And Rachel takes advantage of this time when her dad would be distracted. She sneaks into his tent and steals his household idols.
What were these idols all about, and why did she take them? These family idols were called teraphim.
They were apparently figurines of deities used for divination- to determine the future.
From ancient historical records called the Nuzi tablets it was believed that to possess the
household gods of someone strengthened one’s claims to an inheritance.
Ezekiel 21:21 describes the king of Babylon using such teraphim. He stood at a fork in the road and consulted the household idols to know which way he should go. Josephus, the Jewish historian, mentions there was a custom of carrying household gods on journeys to foreign lands.
So, it may well be that Laban would use his household idols for determining direction. It may have been like a pagan GPS system.
Sonya and I once spoke to a young lady in the Philippines who had a similar household idol before God saved her. Her name was Norma.
She would hold it in her hand and ask it questions.
If the answer was yes, the little statue would move back and forth in one direction. And if the answer was not, it would move in the opposite direction. So clearly demonic.
Now, Rachel wasn’t the only one who tricked Laban. We are told in verse 20: “And Jacob deceived Laban the Aramean by not telling him that he was fleeing.”
“Deceived” here actually means Jacob stole Laban’s heart. He outwitted him and beat him at his game. (v. 21)
“So he (Jacob) fled with all that he had; and he arose and crossed the Euphrates River, and set his face toward the hill country of Gilead.”
Jacob and his family are on the run. They manage to cross the Euphrates River at some point where it was wide and shallow.
Well, someone must have run and told Laban out in the fields what was up:
Verse 22 tells us: “When it was told Laban on the third day that Jacob had fled, 23 then he took his kinsmen with him and pursued him a distance of seven days’ journey, and he overtook him in the hill country of Gilead.”
Jacob and his caravan almost made it back to home base. For Gilead was located just East of the Jordan and beneath the Sea of Galilee.
Well, each day that passed in the pursuit must have caused Laban’s blood to boil all the more.
That term “pursued him” by the way is military language- it shows us there’s danger of war.
At the perfect time, God intervenes on behalf of Jacob. Verse 24: God came to Laban the Aramean in a dream of the night and said to him, “Be careful that you do not speak to Jacob either good or bad.”
The idea in that dream is, “Laban, no flattery and no threats. Don’t dare take any action that will hurt Jacob.”
We read that (25) “Laban caught up with Jacob. Now Jacob had pitched his tent in the hill country, and Laban with his kinsmen camped in the hill country of Gilead.”
Well, it’s a big showdown. The change in leaving Haran and the chase now lead to the
3. Conflict 26-42 Continuing in verse 26: Then Laban said to Jacob, “What have you done by deceiving me and carrying away my daughters like captives of the sword? 27 “Why did you flee secretly and deceive me, and did not tell me so that I might have sent you away with joy and with songs, with timbrel and with lyre; 28 and did not allow me to kiss my sons and my daughters? Now you have done foolishly.”
Laban plays the part of a wounded victim. He accuses Jacob of behaving like a criminal and kidnapping his daughters.
And Laban acts like he’s been hurt by not being able to celebrate their departure and kiss his children and grandchildren goodbye.
All that’s nothing more than hot air coming out of his mouth. Hollow words! Laban is a big hypocrite!
Well, Laban thinks he is in power, but God gave him a reality check!
Laban tells Jacob, 29 “It is in my power to do you harm, but the God of your father spoke to me last night, saying, ‘Be careful not to speak either good or bad to Jacob.’
Well, Laban starts pumping Jacob with questions: 30 “Now you have indeed gone away because you longed greatly for your father’s house; but why did you steal my gods?”
Now foolish Laban has just asked 3 questions all accusing Jacob of wrong.
And the last gushes with irony. “You stole my gods!” Laban has gods that are so weak, they can’t protect themselves. And they can be stolen!
Friends, our God, praise His name is not like that!
17th century pastor Matthew Henry remarked: “Enemies may steal our goods, but not our God!”
We find in the 31st verse, “Then Jacob replied to Laban, (v. 31) ‘Because I was afraid, for I thought that you would take your daughters from me by force.’”
With full honesty, Jacob shows he had been motivated by fear- fear they Laban would take his wives from him.
Jacob is a man growing in his faith. He’s learning to follow God’s lead. Yet he had lost sight of what God had just told him before he left (10 days ago): “I am with you.”
All of us can be nagged by the fear of man. Fear that we will disappoint others, fear of what they may think of us.
I commend to your biblical arsenal that guards your soul Psalm 118:6- “The LORD is for me; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”
Isn’t that good? The moment you are tempted to fear man, tell yourself that truth: “The LORD is for me; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”
Well, notice (v. 32) how Jacob answers the last of Laban’s questions:
“The one with whom you find your gods shall not live; in the presence of our kinsmen point out what is yours among my belongings and take it for yourself.” For Jacob did not know that Rachel had stolen them.
Without realizing it, Jacob called for the death penalty on his wife Rachel… if the household idol was found.
The situation becomes unbelievably tense. 33 So Laban went into Jacob’s tent and into Leah’s tent and into the tent of the two maids, but he did not find them. Then he went out of Leah’s tent and entered Rachel’s tent. 34 Now Rachel had taken the household idols and put them in the camel’s saddle, and she sat on them. And Laban felt through all the tent but
did not find them. 35 She said to her father, “Let not my lord be angry that I cannot rise before you, for the manner of women is upon me.” So he searched but did not find the household idols.
Laban pokes and pries into everything in those tents. He has no idea that the pack saddle from the camel (which doubled as a seat on which Rachel sat) concealed them.
And she throws him off by acting as if she must stay seated because the manner of womanhood was upon her .
Well, Laban has ransacked Jacob’s tents. With 20 years of accumulate offenses, Jacob can’t bear it anymore. He erupts like a volcano.
36 Then Jacob became angry and contended with Laban; and Jacob said to Laban, “What is my transgression? What is my sin that you have hotly pursued me? 37 “Though you have felt through all my goods, what have you found of all your household goods? Set it here before my kinsmen and your kinsmen, that they may decide between us two.
In other words, back off Laban. Can’t you see, I’m innocent!
Now watch as he really turns the table on old Laban and lays him out.
38 “These twenty years I have been with you; your ewes and your female goats have not miscarried, nor have I eaten the rams of your flocks. 39 “That which was torn of beasts I did not bring to you; I bore the loss of it myself. You required it of my hand whether stolen by day or stolen by night. 40 “Thus I was: by day the heat consumed me and the frost by night, and my sleep fled from my eyes.
What a track record! Jacob had done above and beyond what was expected of a shepherd.
41 “These twenty years I have been in your house; I served you fourteen years for your two daughters and six years for your flock, and you changed my wages ten times.
20 years of his life working for lousy Laban. But Jacob knows God hadn’t missed a one of them:
42 “If the God of my father, the God of Abraham, and the fear of Isaac, (that refers to
God, the awesome One of Isaac) had not been for me, surely now you would have sent me away empty-handed. God has seen my affliction and the toil of my hands, so He rendered judgment last night.”
Here’s Jacob’s great consolation. God saw every day he had worked hard and every day he had been ripped off.
And Jacob now realizes (and tells Laban) how God vindicated him through warning Laban in the dream the night before.
From the change, the chase, the conflict we now see come in the drama to the:
4. Covenant 43-45
V. 43 Then Laban replied to Jacob, “The daughters are my daughters, and the children are my children, and the flocks are my flocks, and all that you see is mine. But what can I do this day to these my daughters or to their children whom they have borne?
Laban, are you kidding? That’s revisionist history. You say all these people and animals belong to you?
Well, the fact is, Jacob worked 14 years for your daughters and another 6 years for the flocks. For all those years, Laban has proven himself to be a con, a cheat, covetor and consumed with self.
Now Laban has been beat, but he’s too proud to admit it. Instead he proposes a treaty with Jacob. He tells him: V. 44 “So now come, let us make a covenant, you and I, and let it be a witness between you and me.”
Jacob agrees: 45 Then Jacob took a stone and set it up as a pillar. 46 Jacob said to his kinsmen, “Gather stones.” So they took stones and made a heap, and they ate there by the heap. 47 Now Laban called it Jegar-saha-dutha, but Jacob called it Galeed.
48 Laban said, “This heap is a witness between you and me this day.” Therefore it was named Galeed, 49 and Mizpah, for he said, “May the LORD watch between you and me when we are absent one from the other.
Alright, what are we to make of this Mizpah covenant? By the way, the word Mizpah in Hebrew means watchtower.
Well, there’s far too much senseless confusion about this.
Many people believe Mizpah symbolizes a close bond between people who are about to be separated. And they see this as a blessing of God’s caring for one they love.
There Mizpah coins, Mizpah necklaces, Mizpah hotels, Mizpah headstones and even Mizpah churches.
Friends, if people would only read on, they would know it’s not a blessing but a threat. Laban says (v. 50):
“If you mistreat my daughters, or if you take wives besides my daughters, although no man is with us, see, God is witness between you and me.” 51 Laban said to Jacob, “Behold this heap and behold the pillar which I have set between you and me. 52 “This heap is a witness, and the pillar is a witness, that I will not pass by this heap to you for harm, and you will not pass by this heap and this pillar to me, for harm.
So that pillar marked a boundary line. You set foot on my side, and you’re as good as dead!
Laban the ultimate hypocrite then makes this pious sounding statement: 53 “The God of Abraham and the God of Nahor, the God of their father, judge between us.”
Laban believes in multiple gods. He’s a polytheist. For he lowers Abraham’s God to the level of the pagan god there in Ur. For Abraham’s father Terah and brother Nahor worshipped another god. (And the word “judge” is in the plural!)
We can be certain of this because in Joshua 24:2. Joshua says to all the people, “Thus says the LORD, the God of Israel, ‘From ancient times your fathers lived beyond the River, namely, Terah, the father of Abraham and the father of Nahor, and they served other gods.”
Wisely, we find (end of v. 53), “Jacob swore by the fear of his father Isaac.” This refers to the one true God.
So that witness stone was no blessing between friends. It was a cease fire between enemies.
Well, we find out how that day of conflict and the covenant ends: V. 54: “Then Jacob offered a sacrifice on the mountain, and called his
kinsmen to the meal; and they ate the meal and spent the night on the mountain.”
Strangely, there’s been no confession of sin.
Things will never be made right between Laban and Jacob. But they have a meal together which may signalize their transaction is over.
And no doubt they spent that night each on his side of the boundary line!
You may be thinking, “What a shame that a father and a son-in-law couldn’t work things out.
Yes, but there’s a far bigger tragedy. V. 55: “Early in the morning Laban arose, and kissed his sons and his daughters and blessed them. Then Laban departed and returned to his place.”
This is the last we hear of Laban.
And we leave in God’s hand that this marks his end. For Laban represented a hard and unchanged heart.
Yet God mercifully freed Jacob from that influence so he might follow Him more fully!
On March 26, 1862, while the Civil War was raging throughout our country, Joseph Gilmore preached at the First Baptist Church in Philadelphia. He longed for God’s people to turn their eyes off the war and instead trust in God’s leading.
Later that day at the house of a friend, he couldn’t get out of his mind the blessed thought that God leads the believer no matter how bad the situation.
He penned the following words that we sang together this morning: He leadeth me: O blessed thought! O words with heavenly comfort fraught! Whate’er I do, where’er I be, still ’tis God’s hand that leadeth me. He leadeth me, he leadeth me, by his own hand he leadeth me; his faithful follower I would be, for by his hand he leadeth me.
We thank You our Father that you do lead us.
O what a joy to know that in whatever we face in the coming days, we can be absolutely confident that You are with us every moment.
Forgive us from failing to walk by faith in You.
We confess that all to often we live as if we are in control and we have to figure things out by ourselves.
So, we ask that You fill us with great joy and confidence in walking hand-in-hand with You.
And Father, cause us we pray to live in such a way as Your children that shows You are worthy of our total trust and full obedience.
We pray this in the name of Christ who loves us so much that He gave Himself for us. Amen.
Follow the Leader!
Genesis 31
Hope in Christ Bible Church 9/15/19
Intro. II Cor. 3:18; Phil. 2:13
1. Change 1-16 Gen. 28:15; Ex. 3:11-12; Ps. 139:7-10; Heb. 13:5; Rom. 8:31; Eph. 2:19
2. Chase 17-25 Ezek. 21:21
3. Conflict 26-42 Ps. 118:6
4. Covenant 43-45 Josh. 24:2
Being a blessed doer of God’s Word:
“Lord, in what specific areas do You desire for me to grow in fully following Your leading in my life?”